those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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