So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
