3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
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