dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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