I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Randomize
