so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
