Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize