Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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