bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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