In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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