i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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