we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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