He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
