the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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