Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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