awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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