i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
