JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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