The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
