he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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