If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
