This is not my ceiling
so explain again why im purple
no
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
