just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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