I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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