I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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