I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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