called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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