How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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