you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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