i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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