how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
