A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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