WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize