i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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