She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
