Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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