talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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