Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
