hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
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