This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
