i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
