On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
