dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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