apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
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Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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