Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
