You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
