I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I think I just sharted jello shots
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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