i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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