So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
