Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
