You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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