that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
