my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
