Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I need moral support for this bender
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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