Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
