I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
