are you still at the devil's house?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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