After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
