i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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