Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
