Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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