some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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