she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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