hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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