We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize