You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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